one hundred books a year

 i rekindled my love for reading since my husband bought me a kindle. it literally changed my life and the way i read. why didn’t i get it sooner? it is so much easy on the eyes, and i don’t have to deal with bulky books and finding space for them. 

generally i have good long term memory, so i don’t have to do much re-read for much of my books. i would wait for a series to complete anyway before i start to binge it. who wants to read a story that doesn’t have proper ending? or worse, cliffhanger? 

i found out that my love for fantasy genre is still unchanging. the dragons, magic, romance, kingdom, adventure, and medieval vibes always brought some nostalgic flame and kept me drawn again and again. i’m currently in the brandon sanderson era (i think this guy has story telling embedded in his soul!), and can’t wait until i read his magnum opus, the stormlight archive. sarah j maas is fantastic for fantasy romance, even though that sub genre often get side eyed amongst avid fantasy readers. I love her writing anyway. 

this year is the first time i set my reading goal to a hundred, and i’ve never read so much book in a year before. well, using audio book helps, but i can only use it for biography, non fiction, or romance. somehow i can’t focus on if i use it for high fantasy. maybe it’s the action, or the unique terms in the world building, but if it’s high fantasy i would rather read it through. 

I tried painting in watercolour and gouache, and well... I have to admit that NO ONE can do everything THAT well. maybe I'm not that talented in painting stuffs. maybe I'm just good in cooking, baking, reading, and study. painting requires the utmost level of patience, and I have none of that. my life as a mother leaves me with little time for myself, and I'm not going to spend it for waiting that watercolour to dry. 

anyway, I just completed my reading goal, and my 100th book for this year is... Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.

he is such a talented writer! his writing is a little bit dark though, it has creepy creatures, graveyards, ghosts, murder. but the plot is good. 

summer cabana

Black Friday is coming, and I'm planning to get a beach cabana, along with some beach chair for summer. the last time I went to the beach was when Charlie is 3 months old, where he can't event stand nor walk. now that he can walk and play, I think he would enjoy it. probably will get some beach/ sand building toys as well for him. 

I've been working out, following Chloe ting's program on YouTube. 

it's only 2 weeks and I can see my tummy flattened, and there's a faint side line on my obliques!

GOD BLESS HER! 

getting back the pre-pregnancy body after Charlie's is fully weaned is a challenge. my body was used to eat whatever I want and not gaining weight (because of breast feeding) for 15 months, and before that I was pregnant and was hungry all the time. so when I was starting to workout, I didn't see results in the first week. I was sweating, exhausted, my body was aching, and my tummy was still fabulously flabby. 

but I feel stronger. 

they said you just need to show up. 

no need to keep looking at the time, waiting when it will ends. 

or to count how many sets left in the videos. 

just show up everyday, stay committed, and then you'll start to see results.

I'm on my second challenge program now, and hopefully I can get the abs and toned arms just in time for summer.

probably will get something like this

the land of milk and honey

 there was a period between a normal covid and delta variant in australia where everything seems back to normal. local flight resumed, people are out and about, no mask required (but often suggested) indoors, and business as usual. that was the period i went to tasmania, thinking that overseas travel would take much longer time to recover, and i was right. 

tassie is like the land of milk and honey, but down under. there must be something in the cows there because the dairy products are chef kiss. we had ice cream every single day, went to cheese factory, and drink local milk. they also have a local variant of honey called “leatherwood honey”, not my personal favourite though.

if i can choose one thing as a highlight, it would be the scenic natural view. we went there during the end of autumn, and the grass was golden, the trees are in the shades of burgundy, brownish orange, and light yellow. the sky is clear and blue, it was not warm but it wasn’t freezing cold either. they have different kind of sunlight there, the kind that is warm, and mood lifting. the kind that would promise you good day ahead.

the first day of the trip, we landed in Launceston. it was a cute small town, and it has only one shopping mall called "The Mall". there are varieties of good foods there, asian food included. weather is perfect, took a stroll and enjoyed the small city vibes. 

Launceston

the next day we went up to the cradle mountain. it took around 2 hours drive, and it was a little bit dark and gloomy when we reached there. decided to stroll around hotel, and made dinner. we brought a portable stove, so I cooked some pasta.

lookout

next day, we hike up to dove lake, but the wind was too strong. so we took some pictures and went for another trail called "enchanted walk" which was like fairy tale come alive. there were trees covered in moss, woods, little river, tiny bridge, and some warm sun light shining throughout the leaves. if sleeping beauty ran into a forest and accidentally met a prince, this would be it.

we went back to Launceston, visited Tamar wetlands for a bit and then went to get dinner.

dove lake

wetlands

after that the road trip begins!

we took east coast route to Hobart, so we visited pyengana dairy, lavender farm, Swansea, hike to wine glass bay, eat lobster at lobster shack, and of course prawns and oysters. 

swansea

until my very last

i look at you

i saw myself looking back

is this even true

why are my days going blue?

it takes one cry and  i just know

i will hold you in the high and low

throughout the storms, frost and blast

i love you from your first breath to my very last

so tiny, yet so strong

can’t even wait six weeks to see the world

it feels so so wrong

when night comes without you to hold

three decades of happy birthday

here you are making my day

twinkling stars, shining so bright

with you beside me it feels so right

motherhood

the first year is a chaos.

“it will be tiring” they said, but i can’t ever imagine it would be the most exhausting thing i ever done. 

waking up every 3 hours to breastfeed, and then spend another 15 minutes to pump out the excess, another 10 minutes to clean and dry the pumping kit and bottle. went back to bed, just to be woken up again 2 hours later. good thing if my baby goes back to sleep straight away, but how if he’s alert and wants to play at 3 am in the morning? how if he cried and screaming while my husband got to work the next morning? who is going to entertain the baby then? 

they said it takes a village to raise a baby, and i wished i have my whole family with me back then. it would be nice to have hot delicious meals ready when i wake up, and to have the house cleaned before i went to bed. or maybe to have a longer nap during day time, or someone to play with little bean while i’m doing things i love to do.

i lost myself back then.

i was so tired and everything irritates me. i hate my body because it became so big, and when i went to take a walk for the first time, everything hurts. i hate how i didn’t have enough sleep, while i’m the one that should have enough rest and recover. i hate how my days were filled with poo and nappy change, screams and cries, and away from a normal adult conversation as i didn’t have any more energy to spare. i became this jealous person when i saw my husband comes home after a normal 9 to 5 workday, where he can chat, work, and function normally as he always does. it feels like then and there i want to throw all this baby sitting responsibility to him, get my nap, and wake up with hot meals ready. 

but of course, all men are so awful at multitasking. i can’t expect him taking care of the baby while cook dinner at the same time, can i? 

giving birth overseas, where there’s only me and my husband (and my in laws too occasionally), we didn’t have much options beside to pull up my big girl pants and do whatever needs to be done.

we received some help in the first month from colleagues and the connect group members, they cooked some meals for us and we are really thankful for it. food is the last thing you want to think of if your baby was born premature and needs to be in nicu for three weeks.the helps all comes in the first month, and from second month onward, we are on our own.

honestly at this point, i don’t even want to redo those moments. writing about it is like reliving the nightmare. but somehow there is a part of me that want a bigger family.

maybe one more mouth to feed, one more hands to hold, one more head to kiss, one more soul to love.

i’ll take it one step at a time. 

I have new level of respect to all mothers

beauty in death

 when the world went chaos and sky is healing

i am here while you are there

waiting for your time that is coming

and then you will be somewhere 

tears on my bed, prayers from my lap

songs from my deepest heart i sent to heaven high

i’m living free but why i feel like trapped

do i have time to say goodbye?

midnight, seven missed calls 

i knew you’re gone, not here anymore

my heart is free from tightening walls

because i knew you’ll be happy forever more

i saw you last at my wedding hall

and the next would be when my time comes

i will live now, oh yes i shall

making you proud, beating the drums

summer heat

hello dearests, how have you all been?

i hope 2019 has been good to you, like how it's been amazing to me. 

let's see...

i got married.

both weddings in sydney and jakarta are beautifully done.

i moved to sydney.

my partner visa was approved in a month.

went to melbourne for surprise birthday trip.

... and i started working at church.

i'm ready to embrace 2020 with open arms, wondering how God's faithfulness would water my seeds of faith daily.

i started reading bible again, now picking up "the message" version as it's easier to understand (yes, it's more important to read something you can understand and relate to, even though people said it's not as authentic as KJV version), and i resume my book readings!

been reading the lineage of grace series from francine rivers, and it was life changing. 

her book titled "redeeming love" apparently is the best seller.

new year's resolution... as simple as getting my red P driving licence.

it will be the symbol of my independence to be able to do groceries alone at any time of the day.

on a side note, if you are reading this, please pray for australia. 

we a barely had rain for the past 8 months, PLUS bushfires everywhere, PLUS it's summer. 

it hits 46 degrees this afternoon, and it's even higher in northern territory. 

lots of people lose their home, farms, business, workplace, and few people even commit suicide.

wildlife animals are threatened, losing their homes, habitat, foods, and life. 

nothing much we can do beside pray, and do my part in saving household's water usage.

and believe that God is always faithful.

cheers. 

"mom, will we wake up tomorrow?"