homesickness

just back from home sweet home to sg. 10 days break, and i can say it's not enough. i want to go shopping with mom, go play golf with dad, chat til fall asleep with sister, and play video games with brother, and see kiwi catches some cockroaches . i want to go have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with all of them, and eat yogurt for dessert. i still want to watch some movies together.

and right now, i cry.
this might be what they call 'homesick'.
it does not occur at the first time you went to study abroad, cos those are time when you still full of excitements wondering what kind of environment you will get into. then, you got some buddies you close with and spend lots of your time with them. even if you miss home, you might just like 'miss' it.

homesickness occurs at these time, when you are used to the routines and got chance to see your families for just 2-3 times in a year. then you'll see the difference from see them everyday to just 3 times maximum a year. not enough time to spend with them, not enough time to share everything with them, not enough time to re-experiencing the time when you can see them everyday from the time you wake up til the time you sleep.

"cherish what you have right now, not when you lose them"

i thought i'll be just fine and start the routine as usual. but when i wrote the first paragraph, i realize i do miss them badly.

here i am, in my room, alone. no sister that i can disturb and chat with til late night. no brother to accompany me play video games (even i don't have the console here), no dad to give me wise advise and friend to watch national geographic channel til late night, no mom who willing to listen to my lousy piano play and still saying that i'm the best, and no kiwi's cuteness.

here i am, back to my routines. where every sunday i have to eat my breakfast and lunch alone, envy on those people sitting besides me who got somebody to accompany them to eat together. where every night i spend most of my time online and do those deadly assignments. where every day i have to struggle to hop on to packed-like-crazy mrt. where every morning i wake up i still have to think "i need to buy breakfast today, but i can save some money if i skip it".

i miss my dining table, which always got foods on it. i miss my family who always accompany me while i'm having my breakfast, lunch, or dinner. i miss my indonesian food. i miss the noise my sibling make every night when we gathered. i miss the smell of my room.i miss those time when i can see them 24/7.

"this", said i, "is homesick".