a bit of honesty

january 2012. been one and a half year since i decided to gone single once again.

"how have you been? do you eat well? how's winter in there?"


bunch of nonsense which i won't ever say till the day we meet. again.
there are lots and lots of things i learned from the day we're apart.

i learned how to cherish a simple kindness
i learned how to control my emotion as you always said
i learned how to be a nice person, or at least 'nearest to nice' in every way
i learned how to cook. the thing that need most preparation in order to be a 'good wife'
i learned how to be a good leader
i learned how to socialize, now i'm talking in organizational terms.
i learned how to create a positive mindset, to be an optimist and not a pessimist
i learned how to respect people from different backgrounds. the thing which i barely did back then.
i learned how to see the beauty in life
i learned how to live by faith, as GOD has a hotline towards my prayer
i learned how to be honest to myself, and not to cover it with the fakes
i learned how to see what is true and what is not
i learned how to be confident in every way
i learned how to forgive, even though you have to say it with tears and pain
i learned how to move on, and yes i did.

through the process of learning, i discovered lots and lots of things which greatly influence me to be who am i now.

i found friends, for real and true. we shared blood sweat tears together, something that worth to be treasured.
i found 'family', here in a place far from home. a place to share, to love and to care.
i found miracles. i don't know why but it seems GOD answered my prayers in a very short time.

one thing that i have not yet discover: love.
yes, i have not found my love.


as one thing i am sure, i will marry the most perfect man for me.
i'm not searching for a perfect man.
i have seen two perfect men, but their perfections do not makes me fall.

to dearest love (which i have not found yet) wherever you are on this earth,
one crucial thing that should be understood beforehand:
i do not love you because you are perfect.
it is because i love you, so you are perfect in my eyes.
your imperfections automatically turned into perfection as my heart falls on you.


being back to single for one and half year does taught me lots of things. i managed to reflect back, throw away any bad habits and replace it with a good ones. i simply said that today i'm ready to begin a new one. a new relationship with possibilities it would ends in marriage.