the grey response

"excuse me ma'am, are you travelling back to amsterdam?"

i was trying to start some conversations with a woman on the window seat, on my flight back to singapore. we were using KLM royal dutch for our short getaway in bali, and i'd like to describe ourselves as "a pinch of asians in the huge bowl of europeans."

initiating a conversation with a stranger is not something that i fancy of. in fact, i would try to dodge the chance whenever i could. dad told me way too many stories regarding strangers with evil intentions, and thousands of wicked ways to get you into unpleasant situations. something like:

• "do not help anybody in the airport. i know sometimes there would be old granny who seems very weak and seems she won't harm you, and she asks you for help to watch her belongings. i'm telling you not to help her in any way. her belongings might contain some drugs and she might be waiting for a way to smuggle it across immigration officer. and she's using you."
• "once you leave your drinks unattended for whatever reasons (e.g. went to ladies room), throw it away. even if you go drinking with your friends, who can guarantee they won't do any harm to you. in addition, keep in mind to not sip a drink given free from strangers. i have read tonnes to despicable stories when a young lady ignores these two."
• "be careful of strangers you met. you never know what will happens next. remember, a kidnapper would always choose kids or young ladies as their target. how if somebody kidnap you and called me for ransom?"

and these are what he told me when i was in elementary school:

• if a stranger approaches you and offer you sweets,and ask you to follow them, call me or your mom ASAP.
• when you receive an unknown call telling you i'm in hospital and ask you to transfer some cash, call me or your mom ASAP. 
• when a stranger rang our doorbell, and ask you to open the door because they need to install something or fix something in our house, call me or your mom ASAP. 

with this, me and my siblings memorized parents mobile number, along with the closest extended family phone number. 

thanks dad. 

however, i have read stories where coincidental meeting could be written beautifully. you met a local, try to see the world in their shoes, sharing cultural stuffs, and somehow it would inspires you in a way. 

like how a simple conversation with this european woman could inspire me to blog about it. 

"yes, young lady. i'm coming back home after 12 weeks travelling."

wow. you made me jealous ma'am. 

"for the past weeks, i have been in flores island with a group of friends to see the comodo dragons." 

as she continues her story, me and oliph begins to listen carfully.

"we need to stay in a boat for four days. they provide everything from electricity, food, water for showers. in the daylight, we went to see the dragons, and they are amazing! they can climb, runs, and poisonous. i can't imagine how if someone encountered the dragons face to face by coincidence."

"from there, we went to lombok, and managed to track the mountain there (i assume that would be mt. rinjani), and there was a beautiful lake on the mountain (yeap ma'am. it's rinjani). from there my group went back to amsterdam via bali, and i extended my trip for two more days in bali. i can say bali have a great food! i mean, you know if you have been to amsterdam the local cuisine is just nothing compared to here."

me and oliph nodded fiercely, showing how much we agree with her statement.

"they sell some indonesian cuisine back in amsterdam, and i loovvvveeeee the nasi goreng!"

"how much they sell it per plate, ma'am?" i asked out of curiosity.

"about 6 euros per plate. and here you can get in just half a euro!"

again, me and oliph nodded as if we're listening to a good song and follow the beats.

"after few days in bali, i realised lots of indonesian words adopted from dutch. taking the example like taxi, pintar, and few kind of herbs and seasoning."

"yeah. the colonisation effect might be the reason behind this ma'am."

"oh, did you learn about the colonisation history before? do they teach you in school?"

"yeah. in fact it was told in every single history book in indonesia, and it comes to the exam since we were in elementary."

"that made me curious, what actually they taught you about the dutch?"

for a moment, we were in silence. 

we are having a conversation with a dutch lady, discussing about colonisation, and she was asking about how indonesian see the dutch during that period.

and remmeber, it was taking place in KLM, where we were the "pinch of asians in the huge bowl of europeans." 

or the dutch to be exact. 

i know a straight and plain answer might not be appropriate.

in fact, how can i say "it is because of your country that indonesian became like this!! give back what you have took for three and half centuries!!"

if there is something i can learn from watching "mata najwa" back to back, amidst of the complicated bureaucracy and fun facts that they found numerous used condoms in parliament house, it would be how good politician gives a grey response. 

not too black, not too white. 

"i would say even though dutch colonisation lasts for three and half centuries, all my teachers said it was far better than japanese colonisation for three and half years. you know what i mean, right?"

she nodded.

and our conversation continues discussing how her friends having nightmares every night, our jobs, autumn in amsterdam, awesome food in indonesia, how similar indonesian words which were adapted from dutch, and other miscellaneous stuffs, until the air steward gave us a hot towel.

adieu, my dear fellow stranger. 

although we will not meet again, now i know a plate of nasi goreng in asmterdam would cost minimum of 6 euros. 

where it took place