when east meets west

"i kind of agree with the western culture, where it's socially accepted for couples to live together. i mean, they're going to get married with each other. how if there are certain things they can't stand for after they get married, and ended up in divorce? wouldn't it better to have ex-girlfriend rather than ex-wife, or becoming single rather than widow/widower?"

up to a certain point, i agree.

"if i can add more, i like the way westerners raise up their children. it's like less hierarchy compared to eastern cultures. i can just call my dad by name, and not addressing my older siblings in hierarchical order."

pretty true.

"in america, for example, children aged 16 are considered as adults and need to start living independently. what do we do when we were 16? we were peacefully sheltered under our parents wings, living an easy life where everything is pretty much there."

"how would you know 16 is the proper time for them? i mean, how you measure maturity in terms of age?" i asked.

"parents should teach their child about the rights and wrongs, teach them about ethics and social value before they reached 16. once they are 16, they are deemed as adult and need to be responsible for whatever they do."

"well, what do you like about eastern culture then?" i asked.

"you can say it's none. but the good thing about eastern culture are the opposition of my points just now. while in america divorce is considered more liberal, in asia divorce is considered taboo, but practically it's the reason why we have socially 'well-ordered' community. the hierarchy status between family members is the way how they showed respect."
personally, i agree with his view up to a certain point.

couples living together, i have no problem with it as long as no sex involved. but hey, living together with your loved one where hug is within an arm length, seeing each other days and nights where both of you are love drunk, as a fully grown man and woman, is it practically possible to be living together continuously without sex involved?

let's say we are living in western culture, where sex before/outside marriage is more socially acceptable. back to square one, couples living together and sex is involved. remember, you are living together because you want to know your partner before you marry him/her. how if the girl happens to get pregnant, and the guy found that she's not the one he's looking for? what if they broke up and left the girl alone? wouldn't it trigger higher rate of single parenting instead?

taking another point where children aged 16 deemed as adults, we must take to account how high rate of adolescent pregnancy is in america. according to 2013 statistics, america is the number 1 country in adolescent pregnancies, with 89% of pregnancies happened to be outside marriage. (source: click here). as teenagers, they are not yet capable mentally, and financially to support a family of their own. they're even barely cover house rent! having just enough for daily needs, and possibilities for not pursuing further education might lead to endless poverty cycle, abortion, and other possible social issues.
the element of immaturity contributes in adolescent parenting, and it is very possible to have degradation of cultural and moral value as the younger generations perceive they have done the right thing, just because it is socially acceptable.  this being metaphorically said "the blind leading the blind".

how do you measure maturity then?

i grew up in eastern cultured family, where i need to address my relatives in a way that you will know whether this relative is male or female, from which generation they came from, whether this person is the spouse or our own relative, and whether they are from your mother or father side, in one word.

does that means my family and extended family are bounded with hierarchical order?
yes, but it doesn't mean i can't joke off with them.

westerners would see people in the same hierarchical level (unless you are in the market place), and that's how they came up with individualistic mindset, urging you to mind your own business and take your hands off them.
easterners are more towards togetherness. the lower your hierarchy level is, the more they will show affection and care (even though some are faking it for the sake of maintaining their good image).

how does hierarchy matters then?

"there is no rights nor wrongs when you talked about culture. it might be considered taboo in one part of the globe, and socially accepted in the other part." he said.

exactly.

as far as life goes on and you are getting older, you begins to wander and found that things you learned when you were little is getting vague.

my parents taught me LGBT is an disorder.
few weeks ago, the united states of america, which is known as a country identical with its religious value as stated in their national anthem "in GOD we trust", made LGBT legal nation wide.

my peers thought when they found "the one", they will get married, build a family, and stay happy.
i am 23, and at this time two of my friends are divorced.

the black and white has turned into shades of grey, and now it's up to us to determine how grey it is.

sorry for the long post