please let me introduce myself. my name is fransisca setiawan from commerce major in university of newcastle. first, i want to apologize before you for being disrespectful towards this issue and i hope this won't affect any future relationships, especially for your internal bonding.
i have witnessed myself what you don't, and i do have my own opinion towards this issue.
i understand that parents always want their children to have the best of the best, always pray for their health and welfare, and most importantly always give them support and care. however, sometimes parents seems to overdo it and try to control their children the way they want for the sake of "their own good". i understand i am not in position to say this, however please just take this from a 20 years old young adult's perspective.
i am saying this on behalf of young adults. we're not saying that parents' control is unnecessary. it is essential, but up to certain limits. in your own eyes, we might seems like young kids that don't know anything about life. we just playing around, ask for your cash and protection. you might see us as the young kids years ago because of our consistent age gap (yes, you became older than before but please remember, so do we), but you might overlook the fact that we are growing to become a decent adult. and now, we are nearly reaching that stage.
when i was young, my parents beat me up when i get low grades in school or when i dare to talk back to them or when i disobeyed to them. i don't have any intention to slammed the door (it just happened somehow) and grandpa hit me using bamboo cane. i refuse to practice piano and mom force me with the leather belt (i remember when i practice it for 4 hours with overflowing tears). it seems painful, but i'm thankful for those "lessons" that my parents gave me in my childhood. it contributes to who am i now when i'm reaching my adulthood.
for people in my age now, you can't use the same method to teach us about life. there are times when you feed babies with baby food, and there are times when you 'upgrade' it to porridge before you give them rice. now we might seem to be strong enough to stand on our own. we have the knowledge and skills, we have the qualifications, we have sufficient networking for our own business. we seek knowledge from abroad and thus our distance might be wider than before. we had new experiences, meet new friends, encountered problems and yes, those are the components of life. we might decide things which is against your will, but please don't judge us. we don't want to widen our distance, and therefore please give your support and guidance to guide us with care for the right one.
we will make mistakes along our way, and that's the way we learn things from the greatest teacher in the world called "experience". sometimes for a small matters, you should let us make mistakes in order to taste the bitterness of life. you let us fall when you taught us how to ride a bicycles. you don't always give what we asked to teach us that "life is not merely what you want. you have to fight for it. no pain no gain." i am not saying that it's applicable as well to significant matters, no, not at all. however, those small lessons are invaluable to us and nailed in our heart for as long as we live.
dear parents, please forgive us if we disappoint you with our decisions but please respect the reasons which brought us into that situation. please treat us as an adult and not a child, and give us your supports and guidance. how we wish you can understand us by putting yourself in our shoes, and therefore you can advice us not just as 'parent to child' but also as 'friend'. for your information, we listen to our friend's advice more than to you; simply because we feel that they understand us more.
in closing remarks, i apologize if there is any insolent perceptions which might not be pleased to you. i hope this could contributes to our better relationships in the future.
sincerely yours,
fransisca setiawan
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